Who cares about a Kardashian wedding? I certainly don’t give two licks you need a brick in Farmville. Do I really need to know the where, when and with whom you’ve ‘checked- in’? By the way, copying and pasting a quote a day as a status update doesn’t make you intelligent. Oh look, yet another photo op of you, out partying it up. Great, you ‘poked’ me, now I’m obligated to send you some other meaningless digital transaction back. Is this what really passes for social interaction now?
Facebook made me feel like a watcher of everyone’s else oh-so-grand life; desperate to tag myself in photos, trying to feel as if I had a truly awesome life too. It’s incredible how compulsive and intruding it can become. The more friends, photos, tags and check-ins you can collect the cooler you are (or at least, appear to be and feel). Most of these people listed as my ‘friends’ were passing acquaintances from another life I lived eons ago, now privy to all the real time information I was divulging.
Within hours I had all of my family asking where it had all went. It was quite humorous to see their faces of disbelief. 'Why on earth would you do that?!’
After a few days, I began to realize how much time I wasted each day on Facebook. Not being engrossed for those five to ten minutes every hour really added up. My e-mail was clear of notifications. I talked on the phone more with friends. I suddenly was able to finishing crafting projects I had started months ago. I read a book, cover to cover. The daily chores and activities seemed less mundane and I wasn’t in a rush or overly depressed if it wasn’t completed that day.
After a week, I came to understand what we miss out on being preoccupied with this non-sense. Eye contact with strangers had become overly personal. Idle chit chat or real conversation is avoided or usually interrupted to stare at a smart phone, unless you're interacting with someone on the clock (at work). Most people have no real desire for words with strangers beyond pleasantries; it's much easier to stay connected to our 'real friends', and take no part actively in the world as it's happening around us. Take the passive activist for example. 'LIKE' a cause, sign a e-petition, buy the t-shirt and wear it to the gym.
After a month, I'd gotten over the sour looks from parents (who’d rather have their faces glued to an iPad) while I instigate a game of tag on the playground. What creeped me out the most were large families at a restaurants, everyone’s nose buried in their phones, not a word of conversation at the table. And it hit me: I wasn’t missing out on anything, in fact, I felt more in the loop than anything.
Eventually I started a new Facebook account. I know what you’re thinking, but there are a lot of companies and businesses that exclusively offer coupons only to those who LIKE their pages. I’ll put up with it if it helps me save money.
However, I am still concerned of the cultural implications and potentially long term damage social media will have on our society. Our brains are wired to unconsciously pick up on body language and facial expressions during face to face communication, helping us to draw conclusions as to the tone and emotion behind what the other person is saying. Other types of communication are diluted of these cues, lacking some form of the person’s personality in their speech (or text). When you talk on the phone, you can hear the tone in their voice, not see the expression on their face as they said it. How often does a text you send that seemed completely harmless, end up being interpreted as something rude?
What will we have lost when no one (can or will) communicate face to face? It’s no wonder autism is the ‘new childhood disorder’ and a serious one; It’s main characteristic is impaired social interaction and communication. What hope do we really have of solving our cultural and economic problems if we can’t do the basic task of speaking face to face efficiently?
Even though I use Facebook, I don’t have to love it. And I certainly don’t count anyone on my friend list as a friend, except for maybe my family. I know the time will come when my son will want to be plugged in, but thank goodness that is years away. For now, I just hope his friends during play dates would rather play hide-and-go-seek than stare at some screen.